I am 28 years old. I am also a former defensive tackle for a college which rhymes with ‘shmu smee shmel A’ in Los Angeles. In a nutshell, I’m a pretty big dude. The problem is, I have not played for about 4 years. Even though I feel like an athlete on the inside, on the outside I’m starting to look more like an aquatic African mammal known for its two prominent teeth and cheery disposition.
One cool thing about the hippopotamus is it can snap a crocodile in half with its mouth. I, however, am NOT currently fighting any crocodiles for supremacy over the Nile’s banks.
What’s sort of funny to me is that most people who guess my weight by looking at me I think I’m 265 pounds. At 6’4″, that ain’t bad. The problem is, I actually weigh a little more than three bills.
Fun fact: the United States dollar bill weighs 1 gram. Now I’m not trying to be tricky, but I do weigh a little more than 3 grams. I’m using an old colloquial term for my mass. I could get really confusing and say I weigh a little more than twenty one and a half stone…but let’s not go there. And I’m happy I don’t have to measure in some astronomical calculation like when NASA estimates the mass of something like Hale Bopp.
Either way, I’ve come to the realization that I’m a tad bit over my target weight for life. I’d like to live as a lean mean fighting machine, but that’s going to be a tough road to haul. According to a phone call to the Marine Corps a few years ago, at 6’4” I should weigh 220 pounds. Given my former athletic background, that’s just stupid. I figure a good target weight for me is about 260 because that’s about how much I weighed as a freshman. Looks like I’ll never make it as a leatherneck.
This is something that has become important to me recently because of my two boys. I want to be the type of guy that can be there for them, both at home and out exploring the world. Statistically, based on my football position and the weight I played at, I’m anticipated to have a lifespan of about 55 years. Those are the facts. Heavy athletes put their bodies through a lot, and it strains the heart. Compound that with the statistical lifespan of a male in my career (also 55-65 years) and you get the picture that I’m probably screwed. A lot like a crocodile in a hippopotamus mouth.
So what’s my plan?
Chelsea currently uses the Paleo diet plan, and I’ve recently written about my modified version that I dubbed the “bear diet.” I think this is a good approach to my dietary needs. As far as exercise, I don’t always have the most time. And if you read our posts regularly, you get the picture that I’m not close to any gym. So, I plan to act on my recent desires to do more outdoors. I also plan to use more of President Eisenhower’s contribution to modern-day transportation, aka the United States Highway system. Yup, I’ll go jogging on the road outside my house. Mix in a bunch of old fashioned push-ups, sit-ups and other simple core routines and I think I can get myself on the right path.
Let’s see how this goes.