I keep hearing about “mommy wars.” At first I thought it was good to grow awareness about the concept. This term didn’t exist when I had my first child, and I was shocked at how mean other moms could be! Recognizing this feeling of isolation helps prepare new parents so they aren’t surprised when they’re judged for everything from their diaper choice to vaccination decisions. As time goes on, though, it seems like this discussion point has been turned into an ugly categorization of mothers as a whole. I’ve spoken a lot about work-life balance and the more this topic is broached with me, the more I feel inclined to change the conversation.
Yes, parents have been horrible to each other. But we have something in common that bonds us all: an absolute adoration of these tiny human beings we’ve created.
And the stuff we do for them is sometimes, well, downright weird.
Bizarre Stuff Parents Do
- Watch them sleep. This is something stalkers do in horror movies. Yet when I do it to my 4-year-old? Perfectly normal.
- Eat food that they’ve licked. Gnawed-on chicken nugget = dinner. WE DON’T WASTE PROTEIN IN THIS HOUSE.
- Wipe their butts. The people I’d do this for are very, very few and far between.
- Bring items they’ve forgotten to school. What am I, a chauffeur? If anyone else called with this issue I’d be like, “Your stuff, your problem.”
- Touch vomit. Since the day they come shooting out into the world, kids puke all over everything. Parents don’t seem particularly skeeved out by it.
- Speak baby-talk. We all swore we’d never do it. But then the wittle bitty munchkin footsies appear.
- Take lollipops from those jars at the bank. I only cash checks in-person so I can stock up on Dum-Dums for future bribery.
- Swap out similar-looking pets. I swear that goldfish has been alive for, like, eight years. It’s a freaking miracle!
- Let them win games. This doesn’t jive well with my competitive nature.
- Talk crap about other parents. Yes. This one is making the list because as awful as it is, this behavior is driven by a personal need to justify one’s own parenting choices. Ultimately, parents do this to further the good of their family in their own mind.
We’re still working with Similac, and of course I had some thoughts to offer when they asked me to share my thoughts about “mommy wars” and the way parents treat each other in general. Go watch the Similac film trailer to get involved in the movement!
What are some weird things you’ve done for your kids?