Well, here we go again. Time for yet another adventure. Like most active guys, and very few hobbits, I love adventures. Now that I have my brand new partner in crime, I find myself turning small trips into great expeditions (not in the sense of difficulty but more so in learning and experience).
I remember back when I was a young boy (I can't really use “little” in reference to my younger years) sitting next to my little brother in the back seat of our family car as my father explained the universe to us. No idea or activity that was at least plausible was left unexplored. And so, I wish to give my monster the same experience.
Step one: go outside. Step two: do something. It just so happens that we live near our grandparents and they just so happen to have a just so pool. Yes, a pool sounds like a fitting place to start an adventure. But there was one problem. As manly as I am (and oh, am I manly. So manly in fact Tim Warburton calls me for voice lessons) I tend to burn. Damn my Norwegian skin.
No matter. If I remember correctly, back in 1856, Mr. Waldo Sunscreen was inventing a rubbing lotion to improve hair growth. He ended up accidentally inventing a lotion-like product that protected its wearer from the sun's ultraviolet rays! The hardest part for Mr. Sunscreen was coming up with a marketable name for his invention. It is said that he gave up and just named it after himself, realizing that coming up with a name for his product that was snazzy and also demonstrated the qualities of the product was just too hard. Ergo, sunscreen. Please don't be like my wife and ask the person next to you if this is a true story.
So after a small adventure to Walmart, I found Mr. Waldo Sunscreen's section of the store. Now it was down to picking the best type. Oh, and was there ever a variety. Clearly not a product shopped for by men too often, as they seem to think we liked lots of options. I soon found – conveniently sitting on the shelf before me – a logical choice. Neutrogena Wet Skin. A pragmatic choice, as it not only has “Helioplex,” but sprays directly out of the bottle AND came with a coupon.
Here's a product/company that knows how to bring in the male customer. First, it has Helioplex. Yeah, Helioplex. If you've ever watched Star Wars, Helioplex is what protected the Millennium Falcon from the Tie Fighters' lasers. If it's good enough for Han Solo, it's good enough to protect me from the sun! What's even better, I can put this stuff on even after I get wet or start sweating. So if I start my adventure before the sun comes up, I don't have to wait to dry off before I decide to be smart and put on sunscreen.
Second, these Neutrogena Wet Skin people made another smart move to get my attention and added a propellant to their sunblock. That's right, now I can add machine gun sounds to my application of sunblock while at the same time keeping it off my palms. I mean, the last thing Sylvester Stalone needed in his movie “Cliffhanger” was grease palms every time he needed some sunblock. And for the rest of us normal non-rock-face-climbing guys, it also keeps things like our bats and balls dry. A+.
Finally, they didn't make me try too hard to save. I feel sometimes that going to the store requires too much pre-planning with my wife. She has to make sure it's on sale first or before we leave and she has all her coupons. Me on the other hand…if I need it, I go get it. It turns out that what I needed and went to get – this Wet Skin – already had a $1 Coupon right on the side. HAHA. Win for me, Chelsea, win for me. She then, of course, had to mention the fact that there was a $2 coupon online. It's SO like her to always be right.
And so, along with a stupid baby Speedo thing (see the story about that – along with more pictures of our adventure – over on Intersect), I got the Wet Skin and ran back home to start the swim. Just like Rambo, I sprayed on the Wet Skin and protected myself from Tie Fighters. Some Boy and I jumped in the pool for the first time ever. He liked it but I seemed to have a bit of a problem holding my breathe every time I went underwater. Takes some coordination.
Our next adventure was a hike in the hills of San Diego. The stuff held up pretty well there too, as I didn't end the hike looking like HellBoy (who also calls sometimes for manly tips). Last but not least, Some Boy and I went to play a little football in the yard, but when his mother saw us, she quickly ended the game and beat me.
Neutrogena Wet Skin: Manly Sunscreen. Machine Gun sound effects are not included.
This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias. All opinions are my own.