mothering

I don't feel like I truly embraced me – who I am at my very core – until I became a mother.

It's hard to explain this series of experiences that started with the birth of my son and ended in me acknowledging how truly strong I am. I had been through a lot in my life. I did a ton of self-realization and rejecting unnecessary anchors that weighed me down, little by little. I spent a lot of time assuring myself that I deserved better. Now, there is no process, no questioning what my family and I should surround ourselves with. I suddenly have answers.

I was confident before. Now, I have a foundation.

That's not to say that people who aren't parents aren't their “whole self.” It's just that nothing puts life in perspective – BAM! – like suddenly seeing the entire world in the palm of your hand. People talk about a gradual maturing process throughout their life. but this, this can only be described as a metamorphosis. I realized what I'm capable of and how powerful I am. My actions will exist after I'm gone, and I'm in awe of the lengths I know I would go to if life ever compelled me.

I am unstoppable.

Admittedly, unstoppable me does have her days. Her rough times and her “for the love of God, PLEASE turn off Yo Gabba Gabba already!” moments. Now that I'm a mother…well, I sure could use a lot more sleep. I should probably feed myself a bit better and get my butt to the gym more often than I do. I admittedly find myself squeezing me time into naptime, and my single friends say I should get out more.

But even with all these apparent limitations, I am limitless.

I always was, but now I know it. Mothering made me see that.